Transparent Answer
by XxTheLittleCubexX
Summary: During a therapy session, Ivan remembers how he met and fell in love with Amelia Jones. He also remembers her tragic downfall that he blames himself for. Based on the song Transparent Answer by IA ((RussiaXFem!America))


**Transparent Answer**

"Can you try telling me about her?"the therapist said.

"Whenever, I think back and remember her, I hurt. It feels like someone is punching me over and over again.."I replied,staring up at the ceiling.

"Hm...why do you feel like that?'he asked.

"Because...because I realized...I loved her..."I replied,my voice wavering some.

"Can you tell me how you fell in love with her?"he asked.

"It's a long story.."I said,sighing.

"Well,I've got plenty of time,"the therapist said.

"Alright, alright...it started like this.."I replied.

It was halfway through winter when I met her for the first time. We had just gotten our tests back and as always, I made a 100. It was nothing new to me so I set the paper aside and opened my textbook.

The textbook contained words, but it was already knowledge that I had learned. I was stuck in the regular classes because this school didn't have advanced classes. I could tell why they didn't though. Most of this school seemed to do about average. There really wasn't any other people like me here.

I sighed and tried to turn my brain to other thoughts when out of the corner of my eye I saw her sit in the desk beside me.

"Another bad grade.."she mumbled,angrily,staring at her paper.

I leaned back in my seat, trying to secretly see her score. Hm..yeah, that was a bad grade. She had made a 56 on the test. She caught me looking and smiled at me.

"I guess I should study a bit more,huh?"she said,giggling.

'What an airhead..'I thought.

"So, what did you make?"she asked me.

"Why does that matter to you?" I replied.

"What, is there a problem with me wanting to know my classmates grades?"she said.

"Whatever.."I said,handing my paper to her.

She took the paper and looked at it. He face was priceless. She looked like she was gonna fall out of her seat.

"100!? How!?"she said,looking at me in amazement.

"I always make a 100...go ahead and keep the paper, I don't mind.."I said,turning my glance back to my textbook.

"Hey, could you maybe..um...tutor me sometime?"she asked.

"What..?"I asked,looking at her.

"I need a tutor..I don't understand any of this stuff.."she said.

"Fine...I'll tutor you.."I said.

Later on during class though, I saw why she makes bad grades. It isn't just because of her lack of studying. The girl was making a paper bird out of her paper. I rolled my eyes and I saw her glance over at me then at the window.

"Hey..."she said."Is there anything outside of this place that you dream about?"

"Why would I? I already know what will happen.."I replied.

"Well then..."she said,getting up as the bell rang."That's a very boring perspective!"

I froze,just thinking about what she said to me. I knew I was boring, I mean, how could I not be. But at the same time, I was intimidating and scary. I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. I got up, adjusted my scarf and went to put my books in my locker.

As I was standing by my locker, the girl came bouncing over to me.

"Come have lunch on the roof with me!"she said,smiling.

"Eh? Why?"I asked her.

"Because you're my friend now! And friends have lunch together on the roof!"she replied.

And for an unknown reason at the time, I actually followed her. Before I knew it, days just kept on like that. Go to school. Greet her. Talk some during class. Have lunch with her. Have more classes. Tutor her. Go home.

It was certainly a strange schedule. Then sometimes we would just skip tutoring and go hang out together. She was something interesting,alright. I found out that her name was Amelia, Amelia Jones. She loved things like superheroes, baseball, and hotdogs. She seemed like such a normal girl.

And as we got closer and closer, I realized that I had fallen in love with her...

I think I realized it was one time when we went out together. It was still cold and so I let her borrow my scarf, but it was only this one time, I had told her. Though, I knew I would let her borrow it again.

I had started thinking about my test scores and how it was the same every time. Always, without fail, it was always 100. I started thinking that I was just a fish in a giant group. I was nothing. I could die right now and someone would replace me. But then, I felt my scarf come around my neck, and as I turned and looked, Amelia was there,smiling at me,hands still holding onto the scarf.

"Giddy up,horsey!" she had said.

'Saying all of those things about myself is foolish..'I thought to myself.

I never could tell her, though. My feelings were bottled up because after all, who could love someone like me?

But I should've told her...

One day, she didn't show up to school. I had a bad feeling but I decided to ignore it. That's when they came in. The girls, crying. Other students putting flowers on her desk. I asked what happened and what they said shocked me.

She had committed suicide.

I couldn't imagine why she would do that! She was always so happy and smiling! I hated myself for not seeing that she was hurt. But..I had known, because of what happened one afternoon.

I was coming to the library to tutor her, when I heard crying. I peeked in and saw her, sitting at one of the tables and tears streaming down her face. I almost walked in to ask what was wrong, but I decided to get a teacher instead. How foolish of me it was to do that. I barely made it ten steps away when the library door opened and she ran off.

So now, I sat in my desk, staring out that same window she used to look out of, and I quietly think to myself, 'will anyone remember her'?

I mean, her smile was beyond amazing. She could light up a whole room with it. Her hair was the most golden blonde I had ever seen. Her personality was amazing. She used to always compliment me. She loved my eyes. She said violet eyes were cool and unique.

And then, when I went up to the roof for lunch by myself that day, that's when I saw it. Purposefully hid under where we used to sat...

...was that test I gave her, but now it was folded into a bird.

"That's when I vowed that I would never forget her...Amelia was a wonderful girl. Truly wonderful, and I hadn't told her that.."I said.

"Do you know why she committed suicide?"the therapist asked.

"At first, I couldn't figure out why..but eventually, I found out that it was from bullying from some of the other girls..she couldn't take it anymore...and I...I wasn't there to protect her from them.."I said,looking down.

"It's not your fault, Ivan, these things happen..."he said.

"They happen for a reason..but I swear...I will never, ever forget my love for Amelia...she was amazing, she saved me from falling that low...Amelia was truly a heroine like she always said she was..."I replied,wiping away tears.

_To the birdie who flew out the window and died,_

_I promise I won't ever forget you._

_Not even tomorrow._


End file.
